a grammar

OH MAN

so, i hate odd future. i haven’t talked about it here before, because i really don’t feel like they need more e-ink than has already been spilled on them, from both sides. but i have to say something about this ny magazine post about tyler the creator’s new album, by nitsuh abebe (whose writing i usually really love), particularly this (insane) paragraph:

A lot of Goblin is about women, but they’re mostly theoretical. As in the following chorus: “Swag! Swag! Punch a bitch!” Note the indefinite article — “a bitch,” in theory. When Tyler raps about an actual, specific woman, on “Her,” it’s very different: He’s just sitting at home masturbating and poking her on Facebook while she’s busy “fucking guys that I hate.” (Did I mention that he’s a self-pitying teenage boy? Game recognize game.) You get the feeling Tyler has been the kind of “sweet kid” for whom women are a little scary and distant, and a bit of a hassle, and what is wrong with them that they keep liking dudes besides very-very-special ME??

okay, let’s unpack this.

this paragraph could not have been written by anyone other than a man. i’m apparently supposed to be thankful to tyler for simply rapping about punching A bitch, rather than me in particular? i can’t speak for anyone else, but hearing a man talk about punching a woman, any woman, even (especially?) a theoretical woman, makes me feel intensely uncomfortable and unsafe (and especially, in tyler’s case, when it’s fetishized by the entire internet music-writing community. but i digress). it’s misogynist. period. it functions as a reminder that we live in a rape culture, lest i ever forget to get out of my liberal bubble and check.

secondly, those “sweet kid”s abebe refers to? usually not that sweet, after all! they’re actually usually (in my experience) pretty creepy and weirdly aggressive if you don’t acknowledge and love them for their “sweetness.” hey, guess what! i can fuck anyone i want to, even if you hate them! i’m glad my sexuality scares you, and then fills you with rage! of course, i’m identifying with this fictional woman, but it’s hard not to, especially after reading someone smart like abebe bending over backwards to rationalize this ridiculous misogyny.

Hi! I just wanted to reblog this because I feel like there might be a misunderstanding involved. See, the paragraph you’re quoting is intended to completely agree with you! It’s intended to suggest that these quote-unquote “sweet kids” who are scared of women are actually really horrible and entitled! You are so not “apparently supposed to be thankful!” (Why would you be thankful?) Pointing out that the women are theoretical isn’t meant to be a “rationalization” — it’s meant to point out that Tyler has very little concept of actual living people besides himself! That’s why “sweet kid” is in scare quotes! And “very-very-special ME” is mocking!

I am so sorry this can remotely be read as suggesting anything other than “Tyler is a little self-pitying teenage dick who knows very little about the world!” It’s kinda rotting my gut that it would read, to anyone at all, like I’m suggesting anything else! You are so not supposed to be “thankful!” All I wanted to suggest was that Tyler, far from being some kind of complicated monster, is actually sort of a trite and typical teenage jerk! Which is sort of more pathetic and mundane than being a monster! I am so sorry!

Now I live in crippling fear that other people read this paragraph as being anything other than an insult! It’s supposed to be an insult! We are saying the exact same thing but somehow I seem insane! Oh man! I don’t like this at all! If I suck this much at communicating I should really quit writing in public altogether!